"Drown Under" (by Christie's Dad)

In need of a laugh?  The following post should help.  I am most grateful to my dad for agreeing to supply a post from his second visit. 

The excitement of once again touching down in Melbourne was only magnified when the aircraft door swung open and the warm, moist southern Australia air rushed in.  Fantastic.  A few hours later we were sitting at the edge of a cricket grounds watching Cameron play when the sky looked a little threatening to the southwest?  (or whatever direction, my directional sense being a bit messed up here).  No worries, the cricket mums assured us, it is all blowing over to the south of us.  Several hours later yet, we were settling in at Ross and Christie's home when the monsoon hit.  In the next two hours 12-14 cm. (5-6 inches for Americans) of rain came down.  The house held up well as it managed to keep out almost half of it.  I've heard of the sky opening up, but this time the ceiling did as well.  It's times like these when great comfort is to be experienced by being in a rental property.  We did our best to contain the many liters that fell through the light fixtures and other openings, but there was still a very wet floor to deal with, not to mention counter tops and stove in the kitchen.  No worries.  Who cares about jet-lag anyway.  It's overrated.

The storm passed, but repair time began the next morning.  First of all, the deluge short-circuited the electronic lock on the driveway gate, rendering it stuck in the closed position.  It was not a big deal, I suppose, except the cars were trapped on the inside.  Normally, one would call the landlord, etc. for help.  Christie and Ross's experience has been that repairmen do not arrive in a timely manner (i.e. within a week or two).  So, a little reworking of that little box at the bottom center of the photo was in order.  It will never be quite the same.  So far now, the door opens on command.

That was outside of the home.  On the inside, we went from a gate that would not open to a drawer that would not close.  The rain water got to it, and caused the pressed wood to swell.  A disassembling and chiselling off the offending swollen areas seemed to do the trick.  There must have been about a liter of water trapped in the recesses of the stove top, by the way.

I should mention that all of Ross's and my tools are in the U.S., but Ross does have a very basic tool kit.  More tools were needed, but heavy investment was not desired, so what better store to find than a hardware store selling used stuff.  It was a wonderful store, full of every tool ever invented.  I was looking for a 3/4 inch wood chisel, and was trying to convert to millimeters when I came across a  wood chisel with "3/4 inch" stamped right on it. It was very used, but with most of its wood handle still attached.  Best of all, it was cheap.  About the price of a "long black" coffee.

Other non-storm related repairs became necessary early on in our stay.  For one, the main bathroom toilet refused to operate.  No problem, a plumber could come in a week or two.  So dismantling the tank revealed a broken flush mechanism.  We just took apart the broken pieces and confidently took them to a bigger plumbing store.  "Nope" was his helpful reply.  "Not made anymore, as far as I know."  Yankee ingenuity solved the problem, maybe even permanently, as the next photo shows.  Designer rope like this may become the rage in Melbourne.  Again, it was cheap.

A majorly underproducing air conditioner was discovered to have plugged internal filters with enough lint to block the light from the sun.

Other repairs included re-installing a detached shower door,  re-attaching a kitchen cupboard door, and opening up an inside door with a jammed lockset.  It is, though, a really nice rental property.  (At least, before  repairs happened).  Ahh, vacation.

I love Australia, for its beauty and accents (wait, they say we have the accent), and for all things different.  Where else would you find a cement truck with the back half painted pink?  Or reassuring signs such as this one?

Or sinks shaped like this one?

Or beautiful parks that invite you to enjoy to the max, telling everyone that parks help you to live longer, but then include these calming signs?

 

Where else would school kids be allowed to ride on a train in the fashion seen below?  Don't worry, the train never went more than 70 kph (40-45 mph).  Is that a narrow tunnel ahead?

In Australia, you can enjoy absolutely beautiful scenery ... and never be heard from again.

 In Australia you can go to Mackers (Micky D's) and spend $3.50 for coffee and get a cone to go with it for only 50 cents.  You can drive on the expressways and see bicycles riding on the side in their bike lanes.  (I wish America was little more pedestrian/bicycle friendly).  A lot of people like to talk to you because you talk differently.  On the tollways you can drive your son-in-law's car and never spend any cash for tolls.  You just hear the occasional "beep."  It may possibly show up on someone's credit card though.  Gas is only $1.35 a gallon.  Wait, that's per liter.

It does not take long at all to be here and to like it here.  There's killer crocs, snakes, spiders, and flies, but, to put things in perspective, most Australians survive all that.  And Aussies are very nice people.  Getting acclimated to things is surprisingly easy, even driving.  I just wish that the wipers didn't come on every time I turn the corner.  What's up with that?

 

Comments

[janetjames]

Wow ! Could you come and stay with us for a week or so Joe? Imagine all the repairs you could do for me that somehow just don't seem to get done around here !
Great post- Christy has taught you very good writing skills !

[Nicldavis]

Your dad is such a hoot. What a great sense of humor and how great that he could help with repairs. Hope you are well! I love reading your Aussie adventures!

[Christie]

Aunt Janet--you might want to give him some time to recover before asking him to start in on your house. We have given him quite a workout. As for any writing skills, I believe he has taught me rather than vice versa. Nicole--we are excited for you. Hope you are feeling as well as can be expected at this stage.

[Shanda]

I was giggling so much that Davy came over to see what in the world I was reading. What a great post!
"The house held up rather well considering that it managed to keep out almost half the rain." LOL