Notes From the First Week of School

 

Sometimes the best thing you can say about a week is that you never have to go through it again.  Three of our four kids made it through their first week at new schools last Friday, and I am pretty sure that all of them would agree with that statement.  The middle two are coping reasonably well, but the youngest is convinced that his new school is just about the worst thing that has happened to him thus far in his life.

When I asked him about his first day, his reply was swift and decided.  "Horrid!"  

"What was so bad about it?" I (unwisely) asked.

"All the kids know each other.  I don't have any friends.  I won't make any friends.  My teacher is mean, and I don't want to go back again ever."  

Time to stop talking and pull out the milk and cookies, I thought.  Thankfully the doorbell rang within minutes after the cookies were consumed, and J went off to ride bikes and climb trees, his sorrows momentarily forgotten.  It gave me time to talk to his older siblings.

Their responses were more positive, ranging from "great" to "good" when they first answered. I noticed a common theme as they told me more about their day, however, that wasn't so positive.  They had picked up on many differences from their familiar Australian school life, and their initial reaction to those differences was negative. It's a natural, if unhelpful, reaction when most of us encounter cultural differences.  When you move to a new country, you have the advantage of the initial excitement:  "That's so cool!  Why don't we do it that way?"  This phase is often called the honeymoon phase, and although it doesn't last, it makes the adjustment easier. We don't have that advantage this time around.  Instead our temptation is to look at our previous life through rose colored glasses.  "Mom, We only have twenty minutes for lunch.  That's so stupid!"  

About an hour before bedtime after that first day, I suddenly realized that everyone in the house was either crying or yelling.  I won't say into which category I fell.  I wondered how we would make it through until Friday.  Things calmed down by bedtime, and to my relief everyone went off happily the next morning in spite of their misgivings the night before.

One week later, it was time for the oldest to experience her first day.  She went through the same range of emotions, from excitement and nervousness in the morning to the depressing realization in the afternoon that it will take time for her to develop friendships at the same level she enjoyed in Melbourne.  I sympathized with her.  I never had to change schools, but I have had to start over several times in my life, and it is not easy.  "It does get better," I assured her.  "You will make new friends, even though it may seem impossible at the moment."  

I was unable to convince her youngest sibling that his life will improve, however.  When I tucked him in last night, he informed me that he was moving back to Australia.  "School there is a billion, trillion, quadrillion, kazillion, googolplex times better than here!" he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"We play lots more sport.  We can go outside for lunch instead of eating in a cafeteria.  The teachers are nicer.  There is a bigger playground.  You don't get homework until fourth grade.  There aren't as many rules.  I am so tired of hearing about the rules every single day."

"Anything else?" I wondered.

"There are many, many other reasons, but I don't know the right words for them.  And I am not going to school tomorrow."

He did go off to school this morning, scowl firmly planted on his face.  I thought about the differences he mentioned, and he might be right about some of them.  Australian school children have more time at recess and lunch than their American counterparts.  They are more physically active, and as far as I can tell they have more freedom.  Even my high schoolers enjoyed a twenty minute recess plus an hour long lunch every day.  During this time they were free to wander the school grounds.  Now they spend all but their twenty minute lunch period sitting in class or racing from one classroom to the next. Grades are not usually given until the high school level in Australia, whereas my second grader is already receiving grades for work he has completed.

I can't and I won't try to convince my children that school life is better here than what they were used to.  I can only encourage them to make the most of the opportunity in front of them.  That there will continue to be difficult days mixed in with the good I have no doubt.  I just hope that the moments when everyone is either crying or yelling will be few and far between.

 

Comments

[Suzanne]

We (your family and friends) should have moved to Australia with you!!
I hope things are better next month. :)

[Christie]

Thanks Suzanne. I am sure they will get better with each month that goes by.

[Tracy]

I hope it gets better for all of them soon. I really enjoy your blog. You have given them the gift of really knowing another culture and country and being open to new ideas and ways of living. It is hard now but I think will benefit them. My husband is German and we live in Ohio now but did live in Germany for a while. All the best to all of you.

[Christie]

Tracy, I really appreciate what you said. Thanks so much.

[Bethany]

Sorry to hear but not too shocking, I have no doubt that their old schools were more appealing! Most schools here are very achievement oriented very early on. Hope they settle in and adjust soon tho! One good friend can make all the difference in the world!

[Christie]

We are hoping for that one good friend ...